Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
high people should be assigned attendants
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
