you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
