im six kinds of drunk right now
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
