Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel

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(218): View more from Minnesota

i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time

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(732): View more from New Jersey

why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.

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(206): View more from Washington

She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient

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(260): View more from Indiana

One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.

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(925): View more from California

I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.

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