They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
