Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
you traded sex for a burrito?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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