I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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