My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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