well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
