do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
