he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
