This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We are all done wearing pants today
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
