we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
