seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
