I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
