dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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