bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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