its not stalking. its research.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
