What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
