Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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