What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize