sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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