were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
