I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Randomize
