I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
