trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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