I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
