I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
ok first of all what the fuck
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