There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
he was CRYING into my vagina
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
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