I wanna bring you to show and tell
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
