these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
