it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
