You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
