Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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