Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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