But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
4 words: hood of his car
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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