I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
