xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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