I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
