This girl is more easily done than said...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
