dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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