I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
