You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
