I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
