I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
