I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize