This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
