And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
