yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
