Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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