A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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