If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
You are the jesus of drinking
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
