If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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