no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
