After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize